May 2012
I can no longer hear the phrase "let's get down to...
That awkward moment when you say something really...
First Reaction: Wow, how the fuck did I think about it?
Second Reaction: I’M A POET!!!!
I love how in movies and t.v. shows people can...
Like this:
But if I ever try to do that, the teacher would be like:
When people tell me "You're looking cute today!"...
I respond like:
Then I walk off like:
That moment when you try and be cool in front of...
What ends up happening:
How I want to be cheered up if I'm down
roses are red
violets are red
tulips are red
shit my garden's on fire
No but seriously, why the fuck am I still single?
is there no one who can handle all of this?
I don't need to flirt, I will seduce you with my...
My mom picks the most random times to bother me.
I’ll just be chillin’ minding my own business
& she’ll come in my room like
Of course I'll clean my room, mom.
When I'm with an attractive person
Me:
Benefits when you're cute: More people notice you, more people talk to you, people listen to you, you get jobs easier, you get dates easier, it's easier to get into a relationship, people text you back faster, you get more followers, you get on those fuckyeah sites faster, you feel better about yourself.
Benefits when you're ugly: you don't get raped.
